Sunday, April 25, 2010

It has been over a week since I returned to Bend, Oregon, after completing my Amizade adventure. A few of you have written and wondered why I hadn't posted and were concerned about my well-being.

I have to admit it has been emotionally difficult to adjust to "normal"life, which is devoid of novelty and excitement which characterized the last four months. Also I find myself now strangely reticent and reluctant to express to others my Amizade experiences, which, predictably, seem to now be slowly enveloped in a mental fog as time elapses. What I have learned now feels strangely personal and is not easily translated. Of course I have lots of photos that will help remind me of the trip. I will eventually find a language to share these pictures so that they may inspire others to learn, serve and understand. That is for later. In any event I have decided to post in order to return to a positive activity and which may help me through what has been called by some a "transitional period".

The first photo of the shut metal gate at the home where I stayed in Jamaica serves as the closing picture of my adventure. Standing behind it is Ms. Dorothy, who represents a different race, national origin, generation, and culture and serves for me today as an archetype for the many people I met. She knew I was an unusual guest and tolerated my rants. She listened to my words and showed me great kindness and seemed to have remarkable understanding although she was of humble background and had never been off the island. Today I must declare my trip is over and the door is closed. I have lots of photos and memories to carry me from that time into the future.

The second photo taken at the Rose Garden in Washington Park in Portland, Oregon, of a raven cawing at me, even when I snapped it, felt strangely ominous. Influenced of course from my recent experiences at the Navajo Nation where there is a strong belief in the messages from animals, it put me in touch with a deep feeling of alienation and disorientation although I was now within the fabric of my own kind. After having been out wandering all over the world, now, at home, I felt more lost.

I chose the third photo of a soon to open rhododendron bud as a positive expression that, like it, I am eager to blossom in some new refreshing way. Today I am swaying quietly in the wind, so to speak, but I am eagerly open for a new challenge. I have no idea how it will relate to where I've just been physically or spiritually or when I will find it. I hope ardently to feel again the exhilaration of bursting growth. That's all I ask.

I intend to change the title of this blog to Lee's Daily Adventure and post pictures of wherever I am, including Bend, Oregon. You will be able to find me right here without changing the url. I hope you'll stay with me and keep in touch via e-mail and comments.


Small City Scenes said...

So you made it home---well that is a relief in one respect. I can imagine at your brain and body being torn apart with the oddnes of who you really are. To be just plopped down--here you are home, now stay and all is normal--just can't cut it now. You have seen to much and been all over with many new experiences to just sit and say it is over. But you must because it is. Hold it inside until you are ready to part with some because we all like to share.
My ramblings may not make sence right now but they do to me. LOL MB

Sylvia K said...

And I'm still here, too. Have a great week!


Jacob said...

The kind of limbo of which you speak and the reticence to discuss your Amizade adventure reminds me of people I knew who served in combat -- in particular Vietnam. "Swaying in the wind" seems to me an excellent way of describing what they went through when arriving home.

It took a long time for many of them to verbalize or even reflect deeply on what they had been through. Some things are so emotionally powerful that we can't find the proper words to define them and we know that others cannot possibly understand no matter what we say.

But it's nice to have you back and share in your photos and philosophizing!

And I agree with you about Starbucks! But then I don't like their coffee anyway!

Have a great week!

cieldequimper said...

Oh this is strange. I had commented on your post but my comment doesn't show up. I think I said something like the new life in spring is going to accompany you in your readaptation, like another life, a changed one.

Raksha said...

Ciel: Your comment did show up, but it's on Lee's other blog. It's the same pictures and post on both blogs, so that's probably why you got confused.

Lee: Re "I hope ardently to feel again the exhilaration of bursting growth."

I just want you to know that when I read this line earlier, it inspired me to go and check the coreopsis seeds I started on April 25th. Out of 10 seeds, four of them have germinated in only three days. As long as I can start seeds, the exhilaration of new life and growth is never far away from me. For whatever reason, I thought you'd like to know that.

Unseen Rajasthan said...

Beautiful and nice shots !!

J Bar said...

Thanks for your comments, Lee. I've seen the movie Candy. Yeah, Heath Ledger was a great actor. Such a loss.
Sydney - City and Suburbs

Jimmy said...

Then again, amazing pictures!

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